The Marie Collins Foundation is proud to launch Exploring Intimacy After Abuse, a new resource created with survivors and for survivors. Developed in collaboration with our Lived Experience Group (LEG) and psychosexual therapist Marcella Leonard, this guide addresses one of the most complex and often silenced areas of recovery: navigating intimacy after sexual abuse.
Why this resource matters
Survivors repeatedly tell us that intimacy can become one of the most challenging parts of life after abuse - whether that means physical closeness, emotional connection, conversations with a partner, or simply reconnecting with one’s own body.
The resource acknowledges this complexity. It is not instructional or prescriptive. Instead, it offers grounded, honest reflections and strategies shaped directly by the voices of victims and survivors:
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Many describe feeling overwhelmed by closeness, even in safe relationships.
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Others feel confusion around identity, attraction, or desire.
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Some want to explore intimacy again; others prefer not to.
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Almost all expressed a need for reassurance that their reactions are normal, valid, and deserving of support.
As the introduction states, this resource brings together “professional knowledge with lived experience, so you don’t feel alone in working through these challenges.”
Key themes covered
Healing isn’t linear. The resource emphasises that progress is not a straight path. Survivors may experience periods of confidence followed by triggers or setbacks, especially during intimate moments. This does not indicate failure — it reflects the natural peaks and valleys of trauma recovery.
Sexuality and identity. Survivors spoke about questioning identity, attraction, or sexual feelings. The resource reassures readers that shifts in desire or preference are common and that bodily responses during abuse never signal consent or define identity.
Body image and self-connection. Many survivors struggle to feel safe in their bodies. This section includes gentle, practical steps for reconnecting with touch, sensation, and self-compassion at a manageable pace.
Communicating with partners. Survivors often describe challenges discussing intimacy or setting boundaries. The toolkit offers language, examples, and practical communication techniques — including pause signals, safer timing for discussions, and reassurance that intimacy includes far more than sex.
Managing triggers and grounding. Grounding tools, environmental changes, sensory cues, and techniques for restoring safety are included to help survivors navigate triggering experiences during intimacy.
Shame, guilt, and intrusive thoughts. The resource dismantles myths that fuel shame and reinforces that survivors are not responsible for what was done to them. It includes affirmations and reframes for countering internalised misconceptions.
Choice and diversity in intimacy. Survivors emphasised the importance of reclaiming the right to define intimacy on their own terms - whether that means celibacy, partnered intimacy, solo intimacy, or any other form of closeness. Every pathway is valid.
Access the resource here: Resources | How We Can Help | Marie Collins Foundation